The Power of Christ Repels You

A couple came to the school today for a tour to see if our facility was right for their child. As soon as I saw them, I felt as if I knew them from somewhere and couldn’t place it. As the day went on I realized I knew them from the church i used to go to a lifetime ago. I have been feeling nothing but anxiety since. Don’t get me wrong, they are nice enough people, I never spent enough time with them to really know them, but I get like this anytime I run into anyone who had even the smallest part in my religious lifestyle.

I fear the awkward re-introductions, the questions about what I’m up to, and what church I’m going to. My instinct will tell me to be honest. To tell them I am no longer a church goer, that I no longer subscribe to Christian doctrine, or any religious doctrine for that matter. To tell them I am happy, that I am living with my boyfriend and that things are for the most part hunky dory. But I don’t want to deal with the forced smiles, or the looks of sadness as they realize that I have become a “backslider”, or the awkward silences that usually follow in these types of conversation because there is nothing else to be said and no one knows how to bow out gracefully. I know I’m going to be judged and I hate that. Then again, I could totally be over thinking it, for all I know they could give two shits about me, assuming they remember me at all. Perhaps I am just self absorbed for thinking that every one I used to know must have some opinion on how I am living my life now. I really should get over myself

I think there is also this teeny tiny part of me that, upon encountering these people, feels like I have been caught doing something horrendous. This teeny tiny part of me that still believes that the god I no longer believe in ( or at least the 99.9% of me that doesn’t) is still going to strike me dead for not going to church and living in “sin.” I know this is totally illogical, but I suppose it is just that deep rooted religiosity in me that still thinks that living my life for me is going to send me to hell.

This day keeps getting weirder and weirder…
So, after I was kindly woken up by crazy people, I went to the bank to close my account as I’m walking home, I see this kid on a bike headed in my direction and he starts to yell ” Miss! Miss!” I’m in a bad mood so at first I ignore it, but the closer I get I see that he’s crying so I ask him what’s wrong and he tells me that these guys in a car just called him a faggot and threatened to bash his head in and kill him. He said he was really scared and he didn’t know what to do.

Now, for a split second, the un-trusting side of me thinks that this is a scam, that he’s faking it to get money or something out of me. As soon as this thought enters my mind, this car pulls up and there’s this guy hanging out of it waving something around ( knife possibly?) and starts to say that if he ever sees his fag face again he’s gonna kill him. I try to get the license plate but the car is too fast. So now the kid is buggin out even more, I have never seen anyone shake so much!

So I tell him to walk with me and I take him down a side street next to the catholic church because I figure that’s a safe place, as we’re walking he says he thinks he’s having a heart attack, I ask him how old he is and he tells me he’s 24 ( I thought he was in high-school) I promise him he is not having a heart attack, but now he’s frozen in place and won’t walk any further so I have to put my arm under him and kinda drag him to the curb to sit down. I call the cops, and a few minutes later they arrive and take over.

This is by far the strangest thing to have ever happened to me.